


i'm permanent

by lovesaudade



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, plus other and smaller side characters lol, slight angst, the only mx side characters i have here are kihyun and changkyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 15:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13192671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesaudade/pseuds/lovesaudade
Summary: at the age of twenty-two, everyone must design a tattoo to be etched on their skin. find the exact same tattoo on someone else and they're your soulmate. but hyungwon's life proves him to be a special case: he already fell for someone even before getting his mark.





	i'm permanent

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i'm back to feeding the hh tag with an au i have always wanted to do for so long, and i'm happy to have given it to a ship that i love and adore (despite being dry and dead for almost the whole of 2017--but hey they got married in december so yay right?????)
> 
> i hope you enjoy the fic and that you won't get too bored with the length huhuhu~

it’s at the early age of four hyungwon takes interest in his mother’s tattoo located on her right wrist.

“mommy, why did someone doodle on your arm?”

his mother laughs, petting her son’s head affectionately as he sits on her lap. “it’s not a doodle, wonnie, it’s a tattoo.”

hyungwon stares at the ink on his mother’s skin as if he’s solving the world’s hardest puzzle. “what’s a tattoo?”

“it’s a very special mark on your body you need to get when you’re older.”

“but why do i need one, mommy?”

“oh, darling,” his mother starts, adjusting her hold on hyungwon, “so that one day, you will be able to meet your soulmate.”

“what’s a soulmate?”

“a soulmate is a person you have a very special connection to. when you meet them, it feels as if they complete you. but it’s more than just loving them, you accept them the way they are and also help them become a better person, too.”

hyungwon pouts. “that sounds hard.”

“it does, doesn’t it? but it’s all worth it because your soulmate will do the exact same thing to you.”

“but how will i know what tattoo to get?”

“you get to make one, darling. and your soulmate will have made the same one as you did.”

“so, you made this one, mommy? and daddy made the same one for his, too?” hyungwon asks in wonder, his stubby, little fingers tracing his mother’s tattoo of a simple compass.

hyungwon’s mother nods as she eyes her tattoo fondly.

“and you never saw it from any other person other than daddy?”

“a lot of people have the same kind of tattoo, but your daddy and i have the exact same one, down to the littlest detail. only his is found on his left wrist.”

“is that why you always hold his left hand with your right one?”

hyungwon’s mother places a gentle kiss on her child’s forehead. “why yes, you are a smart little boy, wonnie!”

hyungwon giggles at the praise. “i can’t wait to get one, mommy! i can’t wait for someone to love me like how daddy loves you! i will get all the nice things like how daddy buys all the nice things for you!”

hyungwon’s mother lets out another laugh, sharing the same happiness her son has as he continues to talk about how his ideal soulmate would be.

 

* * *

 

at age ten, he meets minhyuk, albeit in a less desirable way.

he meets minhyuk after an unfortunate incident of hyungwon getting poked in the eye by a flying paper airplane.

after his “ouch!” echoes loud enough for almost the whole neighborhood to hear, hyungwon sees a blurry vision (he tells himself that he’s not about to cry, tough boys _never_ cry) through his one good eye of another boy running towards him. he watches the boy with a mop of dark brown hair carelessly run from the house across hyungwon’s, a panicked look on his face.

hyungwon ducks his head when the boy finally drops onto his knees on hyungwon’s lawn, the offending toy lays next to them.

“i’m so sorry! it was an accident, does it hurt?” the boy asks.

“what do you think? wouldn’t it hurt when someone throws a stupid piece of paper at your eye?” hyungwon mumbles.

“hey, that’s mean!” the boy exclaims, and hyungwon could tell from his position that the other was annoyed, arms crossing over his small chest.

“well you hurt me! i think that’s meaner!”

“i already said sorry! this is the part when you’re supposed to say that it’s okay!”

“well it’s not okay!” hyungwon looks up and glares at the other boy, “i don’t like you at all!”

hyungwon’s little heart feels _weird_ and _sad_ when he sees the other’s lip quiver and his eyes turn into _ugh, puppy dog eyes._

he’s not sure how it happened, but hyungwon is now cradling the other boy in one arm, awkwardly patting him by his brown hair while whispering half-hearted apologies as his other hand tends to his stinging right eye.

how _did_ he end up doing this? shouldn’t it be the other way around?

hyungwon needs to do something; comforting someone, a _stranger_ even, is not something he’s familiar with. he’s only ten years old for heaven’s sake.

“uh, my name’s chae hyungwon. and i like your, uh, paper plane.”

he’s really not good at this, but for some reason it works.

minhyuk stops bawling on hyungwon’s favorite red shirt. he pulls away and sits in front of hyungwon again, rubbing his small fists on his eyes and sniffles out, “minhyuk, lee minhyuk. and thank you, i love making them. i have about hundreds and hundreds of them in my room, a whole mountain of it!”

that peaks hyungwon’s interest. “a whole mountain?”

“yeah! i made some of them with my uncles, aunts, grandparents, my teachers, my neighbors before my family moved here—”

_wow he talks a lot. a million trees shouldn’t have died because of his noise pollution._

“—my dad’s patients, my mom’s customers, my baby brother—”

“wait, patients? customers?”

“oh!” minhyuk brightens up as if he didn’t go through a crying episode. “my dad’s a doctor while my mom owns a flower shop.”

“that’s really cool.” and hyungwon means it. “my parents work at a travel agency.”

“that’s awesome! do they get to fly around and go to different places all the time?”

“well, not really—”

“i wanna be a pilot one day. you see, i love airplanes and i wanna visit countries like ahmureeca and aretina!”

“…don’t you mean america and argentina?” _perks of being a travel agency kid._

“i said that!” minhyuk giggles and hyungwon doesn’t find it _that_ annoying. “and also canadia, and ryeland, and pilipieness.”

“minhyuk, it’s canada, ireland, and philippines.”

“and genovia—”

“now that’s not even a real country.”

the two boys spend the rest of the day going back and forth, only stopping when minhyuk asks if hyungwon wanted to fold paper planes with him. as much as hyungwon is tired from explaining almost every single country eith the best of his abilities, he agrees, going inside his house to gather all the used and recycled paper he could find.

hyungwon spends the rest of his afternoon with a boy who owns a big pair of lungs for his small body and dozens of paper planes in all shapes and sizes. hyungwon lets his new friend do all the talking; he didn’t really mind just nodding and asking the occasional question. it’s nice to make a good companion comfortably like this.

after a division of who keeps what paper plane, minhyuk’s mom comes home and calls for her son for dinner. hyungwon’s newly found friend says goodbye with their secret friendship handshake (minhyuk made it up, it involved a lot of turning and spitting but hyungwon just went with it) before running back to his mother’s arms.

now that he thinks about it, hyungwon never really forgave minhyuk for hitting him in the eye. but gaining a friend was a great alternative.

 

* * *

 

by fifteen, hyungwon discovers a very important fact about himself.

he is afraid of needles.

also, he’s attracted to minhyuk _in that way, maybe_.

okay, technically those are two important facts, but he doesn’t really dwell on the second one because it’s _minhyuk._ he is the one who enabled hyungwon’s trypanophobia.

hyungwon shares his feelings (on needles, not on minhyuk because _there aren’t any. nada. zilch._ ) first to changkyun, a shy but adorable boy he had the pleasure of knowing from being clubmates. he is very easy to talk to, an attentive listener, and gives the right amount of pats and “there, there”s that hyungwon needs.

the two sits on the bleachers overseeing their school’s basketball court. they had their eyes on five boys playing a three-on-two game, and they are chortling at the fact that the team of two are getting their asses handed to them by team of three.

“okay hyungwon hyung, what will our therapy session be about today?”

“i hate minhyuk.”

“ah, but from our past sessions say otherwise.”

hyungwon punches the younger’s shoulder. “i hate him because he made me scared of needles.”

“elaborate, hyung.” changkyun nods with fake professionalism.

“long story short, he made me watch videos from the dark, weird side of youtube. changkyun, promise me you’ll never search “needle” and “eyeballs” ever.” hyungwon shudders.

“i don’t plan to—”

“also never search “needle” with “pus”, “cadavers”, “dismemberment”—”

changkyun slaps a hand over hyungwon’s mouth. “alright, i got it!”

“that was a cold, dark night for me.” hyungwon muffles.

“okay, but i’m sure that’s not enough of a reason for you to hate him.”

hyungwon pouts and only going blank faced once again when the younger removes his hand. “stop speaking the truth and just let me lie!”

“let you lie about what? lying is bad, hyungwon.”

hyungwon freezes at the voice. he wearily turns around to see minhyuk with the _cutest—i mean the most confused_ look on his face.

“hi, minhyuk hyung! how are you doing?”

“i’m doing good, kyun!” he ruffles the younger boy’s hair in a caring way, “just waiting on hyungwon, actually.”

“why? going on a date?”

hyungwon gives the nastiest side eye he could produce. _i am ready to kick changkyun’s ass and then some._

but minhyuk just giggles, pulling hyungwon by the arm so that he stands up next to him. “he wishes! but we usually just walk home together since we’re neighbors.”

“aww, how adorable!” changkyun squeals.

“yes, i swoon over him every day.” hyungwon deadpans, and he shakes his head at changkyun after the younger sends him an over the top, not so discreet wink.

“if only you knew how much i fawn over you every day, hyungwon.” minhyuk sends a wink of his own.

and suddenly hyungwon can’t look at the older in the eye at the moment. he lets the other pull him off the bleachers and begin their trek back home, not before glaring at changkyun who was now waving dramatically at them as if he was sending off a newly-wedded couple.

the two friends walk side by side, minhyuk humming a tune while hyungwon stares on the concrete floor, heart thumping in irregular beats. his arm is still in its accustomed place of being linked with minhyuk’s, but the hold feels a little different than usual. is this what _growing, non-existent feelings_ does to a person? that hyungwon can’t even enjoy the simple things in life anymore—

“hyungwon, are you okay?”

the boy in question almost stumbles in surprise when he finds minhyuk now standing in front of him. “i—yeah, why?”

minhyuk tilts his head with a pout, sending a weird, warm feeling in hyungwon’s chest. “you sure? ‘cause i’ve been trying to catch your attention for a few minutes now but you were so fascinated by the pavement under your feet.”

“just deep in thought, don’t worry.” he replies, shrugging as nonchalantly as possible.

minhyuk takes a step forward, eyeing hyungwon with concern. “thinking about what? is something bothering you?”

“no, i’m fine, really.”

“is it about the videos we watched last weekend?”

hyungwon visibly winces, and minhyuk frowns like a kicked puppy.

“hyungwon-ah,” minhyuk says, hyungwon detecting the tone of affection in his voice, “why didn’t you say anything that night?”

“i didn’t wanna ruin your fun.”

“at the expense of your emotions? that’s not right.”

“hopefully i’ll get over it soon.” _i will clearly not, but the guilt of me making you sad is eating me alive._ “don’t mind me, just think of it as me being broodier than before.”

“i don’t like that you said “hopefully”, it just means you’re not sure. what’ll happen when you get your soulmate tattoo and you’re still afraid of needles?”

“i dunno, pass out so that i won’t feel a thing?” hyungwon meekly jokes.

“not funny, zero out of ten.”

“what do you want to happen so that you’ll stop worrying?”

minhyuk crosses his arms and purses his lips. hyungwon classifies the look as his thinking face, and he’s not sure if he should be scared or not. but the way minhyuk’s eyes lights up at him confirms that _indeed,_ _he should be scared._

in a flash, hyungwon is met with a face full of minhyuk. his own faded, dark blond fringe mixes with minhyuk’s bleach blond one as minhyuk’s hands cup hyungwon’s face, nuzzling his forehead against the other’s. hyungwon also couldn’t help but have his eyes land on minhyuk’s lips that was almost brushing against his plump ones. minhyuk then caresses hyungwon’s nose with his own in a gentle manner feeling like a very eskimo kiss-esque motion, making hyungwon really _swoon_ on his feet.

minhyuk steps back and smiles as if he didn’t just do a very blatant display of public affection and hyungwon drops his jaw at that.

“i just erased the memories from your mind, did it work?”

it slaps hyungwon across the face. the boy is pretty much displaying some _quality aegyo_ at him and damn it, it charms hyungwon and his frail heart so much that he decides to just play along with his best friend.

“y-yeah, sure.”

“my hyungwon is so cute!” he proceeds to pinch the other’s cheek before grabbing his hand, leading him all the way back to their homes.

did hyungwon say his heart is frail? well, it has now exploded into tiny little pieces and is being collected one by one by the small minhyuk in his chest.

 

* * *

 

hyungwon’s now nineteen and graduates high school along with best friend.

he also realizes how big of a part minhyuk is in his life, and just how much he’s in love with him, too.

(it’s almost a cardinal sin, being in love with a boy who’s probably not his soulmate. but hyungwon isn’t exactly a goody-two shoes angel, is he?)

hyungwon couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when he fell so hard; maybe it was one of the times when hyungwon thought minhyuk looked at him for a second longer than usual, held his hand tighter than before, hugged him closer than ever, or from the moments in between.

and given the situation, hyungwon thinks that it would be such a _brilliant idea_ to say yes to minhyuk’s “let’s share an apartment for college, okay?”

a few months after their graduation, the two were able to find a small, affordable apartment near their high school as their middle ground since they were attending different colleges. hyungwon will be attending his dream law school, while minhyuk passed his initial examination to get into a flight academy.

to celebrate the start of their adulthood, minhyuk persuades hyungwon in changing their hair color as a symbol of moving on and moving forward (even if hyungwon feels the exact opposite when it comes to his best friend). minhyuk’s icy blond hair is as bright and obnoxious as he is, while hyungwon’s brunet locks just screams safe and comfortable.

the two couldn’t have been any more different, but seeing both stride out of the salon just looks as natural as the wind that passes through their tresses, arms linked as they walk back to their apartment to finish moving in all their belongings.

they fall into a domestic pattern not too long after they were done moving in. hyungwon feels so at home with minhyuk that it scares him, and he also learns more about minhyuk as they lived together, which scares him even more. from the petty fights about not throwing out the trash or not using the shoe rack hyungwon’s mother gave as a house warming gift, to the small little surprises they do for each other like minhyuk printing out hyungwon’s readings for his law classes and hyungwon picking up minhyuk’s uniform from the dry cleaners. and don’t get even hyungwon started when he sees how his napping habits slowly affected minhyuk, too.

after grueling day from law school, hyungwon drags his feet across the floor and plops down on the couch, groaning and burying his face on one of the pillows. he’s ready to forget the day and he’s just a second away from dozing off when something sits next to him.

“hyungwon, are you taking a nap?”

“yes, i’m exhausted.”

he gets no response other than something soft and comfy getting draped over his body, and hyungwon doesn’t hesitate to snuggle into it, sighing peacefully.

“i’ll whip up my signature hot chocolate when you wake up, okay?”

“okay, minhyukkie.” the younger whispers, slipping in the nickname because his filter is gone at this point.

minhyuk runs a hand through hyungwon’s locks, almost completely knocking the boy out. “nap well, hyungwon.”

and really, the last conscious thought hyungwon had is _goddamn we are so domestic it’s cheesy, it’s cringe-y, it’s… nice. really nice._

hyungwon’s whipped. so, so whipped. and he knows it’s wrong, but what can hyungwon do when minhyuk shows up with his beautiful face and his out of this world hot chocolate and just being so charmingly domestic with him?

 

* * *

 

at twenty-one, hyungwon grasps the fact that he didn’t need to have the tattoo to experience heartbreak.

minhyuk kidnaps hyungwon from the library on the night of the second of november (hyungwon calls it kidnapping, but minhyuk sees it as liberating his best friend). hyungwon allows the older to pull him wherever the latter desires, from a convenience store to buy a dozen of soju bottles, to the nearest bakery to get two kinds of cupcakes and two cheap birthday candles.

after their little errands run, they arrive at an abandoned playground not too far off from their apartment. hyungwon finds himself trailing behind minhyuk as they go up on one of the bigger, wider slides of the place, stretching their legs on it before looking at the sky above them.

minhyuk opens the first bottle of the night, tipping his head back to take one long gulp. “can you believe i got excused from a graded recitation just because it’s my birthday tomorrow? it’s insane.”

“the world works in mysterious ways.”

“how much will you bet that i still haven’t done my design yet?”

“i would bet my entire fortune.”

minhyuk scrunches his nose. “but that’s not saying much.”

“i know,” hyungwon chuckles under his breath, “broke college kid and everything.”

“this is why you’re on your way to be the best lawyer in the business, to get all the money!”

“i’m just in it for the nice suits, being the best lawyer seems like a long shot to me.”

“witty, sarcastic and self-deprecating. for that, my friend, you deserve a drink.”

hyungwon takes minhyuk’s offer, wishing the presence of a little buzz.

after they had a few bottles (minhyuk stops after two because too much alcohol in your system before getting a tattoo is very problematic, meanwhile hyungwon has enjoyed four so far), the two find themselves laying on the cool surface of the metal play structure. minhyuk raises a hand above them, moving his fingers around as if the stars were right at his fingertips.

“you sure i can’t convince you to document my tattooing experience for my future children to see?”

“why would i do that? i have a huge test tomorrow that i was studying for hours ago before you so rudely kidnapped me. and don’t forget that you’re the one who made me deathly afraid of needles!”

“god, hyungwon, that was six years ago—”

“and the trauma still remains.” hyungwon pouts like a child.

“come on, i said sorry so many times that night.”

“trauma!”

minhyuk laughs into the air, the pleasant sound blending with the cool breeze that whirls around them.

hyungwon shivers, from the wind or the melodic sound of minhyuk’s laugh, he’s not certain. he decides that a topic change is a must. “what tattoo design are you going for anyways?”

“something that screams me!”

“so puppies and strawberry candies?”

minhyuk sends his best friend a pout. “you make me sound so shallow.”

“are you not though—ouch! must you slap me that hard? that’s abuse! i should know, studying law.”

minhyuk ignores hyungwon’s cries. “what if i make the design super hard and super intricate? just make it big and full of colors.”

“why would you do that? not only would you give your poor soulmate a hard time but you’re giving yourself a hard time, too.”

“to know that my soulmate will put in just as much effort as i will do for them.”

secretly, hyungwon recalls his four-year-old self to appreciate minhyuk’s words.

“so should i expect our apartment to be just a dumpster of your failed sketches?”

“yep!” minhyuk turns to him and winks, “your room will be the first to be filled to the brim.”

“you’re the reason why global warming exists.”

“really? and here i thought the world couldn’t handle how hot i am.”

hyungwon feels a _well, you are to me_ on the tip of his tongue to pass off as a joke, but knows that it really isn’t, so he lets out a quiet hum.

“isn’t the concept of soulmate tattoos so endearing?” minhyuk abruptly ponders aloud, “it works like a normal tattoo, it’ll hurt like a normal tattoo, as well. but to know that someone out there is going to get or already has the same tattoo as you is amazing, you know? a stranger would’ve had the same ideas, the same visions, and the same emotions as you in coming up with their soulmate tattoo.”

hyungwon nods at all of it, mind temporarily fleeting to the idea of what kind of tattoo minhyuk would get and how can he selfishly copy it when he turns twenty-two himself—

“the ink on your skin will be permanent. your soulmate is permanent, too. amazing, right?”

“it is, but,” hyungwon purses his plump lips, “isn’t also kinda weird that you pretty much don’t have a choice in all of this? that you have to get the tattoo in order to find your soulmate?”

“you’re right, we don’t have a choice.”

hyungwon blinks in surprise, having to expect a comeback from his friend.

“but it’s thrilling, in a way. the chances of meeting the love of your life all depends on fate.”

“or luck.”

“your pessimism is what i adore most about you, wonnie.”

the younger regrets telling minhyuk about his childhood nickname. “i call it being realistic.”

“okay, wonnie,” minhyuk giggles. “but you have to admit that we gotta live with the cards we’re dealt with.”

hyungwon decides to humor him. “life is like a proverbial box of chocolate, you’ll never know what you’re gonna get.”

“there we go! and speaking of chocolate, it’s almost my birthday! time to prepare my cake!”

hyungwon sits up, sways a little from side to side, and scoots back to have more room to sit with his legs crossed. minhyuk does the same opposite of the younger, arranging the two cupcakes between them. sticking one candle each and igniting them up with a lighter from his pocket, hyungwon couldn’t help but admire how minhyuk looks striking, how the moon light touches his newly-dyed red hair and how the small embers accentuated every curve of his face.

minhyuk peeks at his phone from his front pocket, clapping quietly after it dictates that it’s officially the third of november. he quietly sings “happy birthday” into the night, and in hyungwon’s slightly buzzed stupor, chooses to hum along to the tune.

hyungwon watches with fondness when minhyuk squeezes his eyes shut in preparation to make a wish. however, he raises an eyebrow when minhyuks starts to blindly reach out in the dark with one hand, patting around the cool, metal surface they are sitting on.

with the hint of liquid courage, hyungwon reaches out and grabs the pesky hand with his own, rubbing his thumb in what he hopes to be in a comforting way over the other’s knuckles.

there was a pause, and hyungwon panics through it thinking he misread the situation. but his shoulders relax and the nerves in his stomach fades when minhyuk simply opens his eyes and blows both of his candles out.

“thanks for being here, wonnie.”

“i hope your wish comes true, birthday boy.”

minhyuk throws his arms around hyungwon’s neck and pulls him in with a force, a gesture of appreciation that hyungwon certainly welcomes before they wrap up their modest party to go back to their apartment. the following morning, they head out to two separate places: hyungwon begrudgingly goes to school for his criminal law test and minhyuk excitedly skips to a tattoo parlor that specializes in soulmate tattoos.

but not even a month passes after minhyuk’s birthday and already the boy finds his soulmate.

(hyungwon curses the fact that he encouraged minhyuk’s obvious birthday wish to come true so soon in the first place).

hyungwon believes that life is generally cruel because minhyuk’s soulmate was almost too perfect for his best friend. his name was yoo kihyun and _of course_ their birthdays were just nineteen days apart because being _soulmates_ can make that possible.

minhyuk describes kihyun to hyungwon as a great cook, devilishly handsome but has his charming moments here and there, has a beautiful, god-given voice that backs up his pursuing performing arts degree, does photography at the side, and a sharp mouth that entertains minhyuk until no end—with jokes and snarky comments, mind you.

the younger remembers the first time he hears minhyuk telling the story on how they met.

apparently, it happened when kihyun hurriedly bumps into minhyuk during one saturday morning, the iced americano in minhyuk’s hand seeps into his plain white shirt. kihyun, the _polite motherfucker_ (hyungwon was positive minhyuk called him that in his story, _one hundred percent sure_ ), drags minhyuk to the nearest clothing store and shoves him in a fitting room. without so much a word from minhyuk, kihyun scans through the store to find some quality, affordable shirts for the other to try. shrugging at kihyun’s persistence, minhyuk strips his spoiled top and wipes any sticky residue on his torso with the driest part of the shirt.

after playing the waiting game, minhyuk hears a couple of knocks on the door and opens it quickly, momentarily forgetting that he is left shirtless. kihyun almost drops the shirts from his arms as his _ravenous, intense eyes_ (hyungwon is very detailed while reminiscing, it’s _not_ the jealousy talking) stares at minhyuk’s soulmate tattoo before pulling up the length of his pants to reveal his own soulmate tattoo on his shin.

it was a match. it was also hyungwon’s first heartbreak.

december turns out to be the worst and the longest month of hyungwon’s life. he tries to bury himself in law cases and research papers in most of his free time (he’s the one student who, despite dying with stress and had an immense amount of caffeine coursing through his veins, was glad he had to worry about his midterm exams) to avoid minhyuk and kihyun individually and as a couple. but once the holiday break starts, hyungwon ends up being an eternal third wheel to the two.

he masters the art of rolling his eyes whenever kihyun keeps asking about what minhyuk does in flight academy as minhyuk begs for kihyun to teach him how to sing.

he gets a headache every time kihyun pulls out his trusty camera and takes a shit ton of photos of minhyuk, candid or not.

he feels something lurch in his stomach when listens to them talk like a cheesy kdrama.

and his heart breaks a little more every time he painfully watches minhyuk and kihyun exchange saccharine kisses.

hyungwon surprises himself when he chooses to experience his second heartbreak.

he tells minhyuk for the first time since they moved in together, he will not be spending christmas and new year’s day with him. he decides to go back home and spends the holiday break there, maybe plan to hang out with changkyun to make him feel less lonely.

he’s sure minhyuk would be fine, he has kihyun—his _precious soulmate_ —after all.

 

* * *

 

the day hyungwon dreads is here; he is twenty-two now. and as expected, doesn’t really make a big deal out of the day.

hyungwon goes through his birthday like any other day in the weekend, except with more heartwarming calls and messages from family, relatives, and friends.

he arrived back to his and minhyuk’s apartment on the morning of january fifteen and was greeted to a silent apartment and a sticky note placed on his bedroom door. it tells him that his roommate would be out the entire day today after he was assigned to lead a campus tour for visiting foreign students, that he is terribly sorry for missing his arrival, and that he’s going to make up for it soon.

(a dull ache pinches hyungwon’s barely held together heart when he notices an absence of even the simplest birthday greeting on the note.)

he drops all his bags on the foot of his bed before he rummages through his closet. he might as well get his soulmate tattoo while he’s still awake enough to be on his feet; if he lays down now he’ll be knocked out for the entire day, guaranteed. plus, he can face his fear head on and just nap away the pain and the extra trauma right after. no use in prolonging the agony any longer.

hyungwon gets rid of his baggy, black hoodie and jean shorts in favor of a light blue button up shirt with white stripes and black jeans. after combing through his messy wine red locks (the color is what his family back home coerced him into getting, often telling him that a change like that suits him well), he pockets his essentials and drops off his dirty clothes in his laundry hamper before heading off.

he arrives at the place where minhyuk got his soulmate tattoo almost two months ago (it’s a very recommended tattoo parlor, he’s not here because of minhyuk). the bell above the door chimes when he enters, catching the eye of the girl sitting at the front desk, edgy gray hair and bright red lips going well with the black and white aesthetic of the room.

“good morning, how can i help you?” the girl questions, her cat-like eyes perking up the sight of him.

“uh, morning. it’s my birthday today, so i’m here to get my, uh…”

“soulmate tattoo, yeah? wonderful! i’m just gonna need an id so that i can profile you in.”

hyungwon quickly hands her his student id, nervously looking around as he waits for her to finish typing on her computer.

“you’re all set! ji will be your tattoo artist for today, he’s amazing so you have nothing to worry about. please, this way!”

she chirpily returns the id back to hyungwon when she’s done before leading him through a white curtain. he follows her until they reach a door to the right by the end of the short hallway. she knocks twice on the door before opening it, gesturing to hyungwon that he could go in. eyeing her warily, he enters the room cautiously, glancing at his back when he hears the door shut behind him.

he walks further in and marvels at how different the room looks compared to the outside. the walls were covered with various colors, shapes, and lines, blending harmoniously under the few lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling. the whole space looks like a room that was loved and labored over by a true artist.

hyungwon’s eyes land on a hunched over back. he clears his throat, gaining the attention of the other person in the room, swiveling around his chair and smiling at hyungwon when he sees him.

“hey there, what’s your name?”

“i’m chae hyungwon. the hyper girl from the front desk said that you’ll be doing my soulmate tattoo, uh, ji?”

the man laughs before standing up to stretch an open hand to hyungwon. “you can call me jiyong. and i’m sorry for chaerin, she’s a little ball of energy all day, every day.”

hyungwon shakes the man’s—jiyong’s hand and figures out that he looks a little older than him, but the black undercut hairstyle gives him a cool, youthful vibe.

“alright, soulmate tattoo. come sit by my desk so that you can work on your design.”

hyungwon obediently follows jiyong’s instructions, the tattoo artist laying down a piece of paper and a small vase of colored pencils in front of him before leaving hyungwon to his own devices.

the younger boy stares into the void of the blank paper, not having a clue on what he should do. should he just wing it and scribble down the first thing that pops in his head? it’s just a permanent mark on his skin that’ll decide who he will love and who will love him back anyways.

hyungwon’s conscience tells him it’s a horrible idea, but he just might close his eyes, pick a random pencil and—

he recalls his conversation with minhyuk about tattoos. how the older tells him about how much effort he will put into his soulmate tattoo during that chilly night. hyungwon tries to convince himself that maybe he should put more thought into this just because minhyuk talked to him about it. maybe just design something that perfectly encapsulates his love for the older boy.

but he stops; he brings himself back to reality. and that reality shows him that he should already give up minhyuk—he already found a soulmate in kihyun and he couldn’t complete with that. but on the other hand, hyungwon knows he can’t give up years of feelings and pining in just one day.

after a minute of silence, hyungwon finally reaches a compromise in his dilemma before grabbing a black pencil. moving nice and slow, hyungwon sketches a simple drawing with shaky lines, the weight of this situation affecting his hand. he was done in less than a minute, and he’s not sure if he’s proud that fact. nevertheless, what’s done is done.

he turns around in the swivel chair with the design in his grasp, looking at jiyong who was sitting on a leather tattoo chair, calm eyes matching his serene smile.

“you ready?” jiyong hops off from his perch, getting hyungwon’s sketch when he hands it to him, “let’s get you settled on the chair. where do you want me to tattoo you, hyungwon?”

“is it okay to have it on my back? by the end of my nape?” _out of sight, out of mind._

“no problem. i’m gonna need you to remove your shirt and lay down on your stomach.” jiyong explains, making the necessary adjustments to the tattoo chair so that in fully reclines into a makeshift bed.

hyungwon nods silently, awkwardly unbuttoning his shirt before setting it atop the artist’s desk. he settles front first on the tattoo chair, the leather already sticking uncomfortably on his skin. but he bears with it for he knows he has yet to face the real pain.

“i’ll smoothen out the lines for you, okay?” jiyong states before chuckling deeply, and the sound makes hyungwon jerk up his head as far as he could. “what’s the matter?”

“nothing, nothing. being in the business for so long makes you think that you met someone’s soulmate before you did.”

hyungwon bites his lip. “meaning?”

“it just means that i’ve worked on so many tattoos that they all just start to look alike.”

“right.” hyungwon mutters, unsure on how to respond to that.

jiyong gives a beaten-up stress ball in hyungwon’s hand, and the younger didn’t need any explanation on what it was for.

“no sugarcoating, this will hurt a lot considering this is your first tattoo.” _that does wonders for my fear of needles._ “with that said, try to relax as much as you can, okay? keep taking deep breaths, it’ll be over before you know it. and to make it a little easier on you, the healing process will be much faster than any tattoo you might get after this.”

_i’d rather die alone than to get another tattoo—_

the whirring of the mechanical needle shoots terror all throughout hyungwon’s body. he feels his breaths getting more erratic, his heart pounding loudly against his chest, his eyes getting watery, and his fingernails digging deep into the stress ball and almost splitting it into two. all he could picture in his head were the horrible images he saw back when he was fifteen.

just when he feels that the needle was less than an inch away from his back (and just when he was about to let out the unmanliest scream), a phone ringing disrupts the session.

he almost cries out in relief at the beautiful sound, yelling a quick apology to jiyong before telling him that he needed to check his phone. whipping out his phone from back pocket, hyungwon sees a text notification from minhyuk; the name already calms him down a bit before he opens the message.

**from bff!minhyuk:**

**i’m on a short ten-minute break from the tour. hope you got back safely and still have all your long limbs connected to you. i’ll try to see you before you sleep tonight, i promise!!**

**(and juuuust in case you’re already doing it, imagine me holding your hand, wonnie. don’t be scared anymore <3) **

before he could stop it, a hint of a smile appears on hyungwon’s lips. it doesn’t look like much, but it’s enough for him.

with minhyuk’s little message in his hand and the tortured stress ball long forgotten as it tolls across the floor, hyungwon goes through the terrifying tattoo session. he was still getting more petrified by the second, but his mind is a little clearer as he hears his best friend’s soothing voice calming him down.

after lowering his pride and asking jiyong to never tell a soul about the tears he shed today, hyungwon feels exhausted in every aspect of the word. he waits for jiyong to finish cleaning the area between his shoulder blades with a cold, damp cloth before sitting upright.

jiyong hands hyungwon his button-up before accompanying him to the front desk for the payment. waving goodbye at the two adults, he leaves the tattoo parlor with the tiniest grin. it could be from how friendly chaerin and jiyong were to him, from the fact that he was able to get the tattoo even with his trypanophobia, or from how he was just steps away from taking the greatest nap of all.

(he doesn’t even include the fact that he heard from minhyuk today, the source of his strength throughout _that_ _trying time_ , because that’s not what you’re supposed to do when you’re getting over someone.)

he arrives back at home a little after noon and cooks up some instant ramen for a quick lunch, scarfing it down in a few minutes. he trudges to his room and unceremoniously dropss on his bed face first, already going off to dreamland without so much effort, instead putting effort to forget today.

by the time he wakes up, hyungwon is surrounded by darkness. the sun finally rests for the day as the moon and stars hangs in the velvet, dark blue sky. rubbing his eyes with one hand, he takes out his phone and blinks at the time: _7:47pm, short nap._ he contemplates for a second if he should contact minhyuk to bring home some dinner, but throws the device on his side table instead. he is a strong, independent man who doesn’t need his best friend to order his favorite japanese takeout.

he turns on his bedside lamp, a soft, yellow glow illuminates his room before reaching over the bed frame, getting his laptop from one of his bags with a struggle. might as well study up some history and philosophy of law while waiting for his hunger to settle in.

an hour later, hyungwon hears footsteps he’s all too familiar with outside his room, and suddenly the air in his room feels thick and heavy. he hasn’t seen his best friend for nearly a month and he can’t deny that he threw every excuse in the book at the older to keep their conversations short over the break. it may have been a petty and childish thing to do, but hyungwon was coming from a place of hurt.

but now the book is worn out, and that leads to him jumping in his seat when a pattern of knocks hits his bedroom door.

hyungwon lets out a prolonged sigh, placing his laptop on his study table before opening the door.

there stands minhyuk looking like an honest to god model in his leather jacket, pink sweater, ripped jeans, and black timberlands. _lord jesus, my struggle is real._

“hey, birthday boy, let’s celebrate with a feast!”

hyungwon stares at what minhyuk calls a feast: two plastic bags from their favorite japanese restaurant. the smell of it all overrides his ongoing plan of operation _time to not be a dumbass and fall out of love with minhyuk_ as he steps aside to let his best friend in.

“how was your day? did you faint at the sight of the n-e-e-d-l-e?”

“i’m twenty-two, not two. i can spell, minhyuk.” hyungwon replies, falling back into their banter as if nothing’s wrong, “and for your information, no, i didn’t. you should be proud of me.”

minhyuk sits on hyungwon’s floor before he takes out all the containers for their dinner. “i bought you food, that’s your prize. now sit down and eat, i wanna know all about what happened during your holiday break!”

“well, i got my hair dyed. that’s something.”

minhyuk gestures to hyungwon’s locks with his chopsticks. “it looks so good on you, wonnie, way better than when i did it.”

hyungwon tries to not let the compliment get to him. “you look good with short, black hair—”

“hell yeah i do,” minhyuk flicks his hair with a shake of his head, “change after a significant life event becomes me.”

the younger asks a silent question with the raise of an eyebrow.

“oh, right! kihyun broke up with me over the holidays.”

hyungwon almost chokes on a piece of tempura at the news. he’s not sure what surprises him more: the fact that his best friend made history by allowing his soulmate to break up with him, or the fact that he said it so casually, which means there was more to this story.

“turns out that kihyun and i need to get our eyes checked,” minhyuk starts as if he read his best friend’s mind, “because upon closer inspection, we realized that they weren’t identical at all.”

“why? what was wrong?”

“let’s just say that i had too much, or he had too little.”

hyungwon tentatively looks up at his best friend, carful with his words. “are you okay, though?”

“shockingly, yes.” minhyuk smiles, and hyungwon sees the sincerity behind it, “actually i bumped into him right before i bought us dinner and he introduced me to his real soulmate. pale, handsome, can kill a man with his hugs. i’m just happy that kihyun’s happy.”

hyungwon nods with a soft smile, but couldn’t help being curious. “are you sure you’re really happy? i mean, for a while, he was your soulmate.”

“he made me happy and he loved me. i made him happy and i loved him, too. not to be clichéd, but i always felt that there was something missing between us. and the whole tattoo thing just proved it!” minhyuk laughs.

the explanation is more than enough to hyungwon. so much so that he had to beat down the hope that slowly creeps up on his heart.

“i’d like to think that fate wasn’t cruel just because it gave me the wrong soulmate. it actually gave me a chance to find the right one. maybe even the one that i’ve been—” minhyuk cuts himself off.

hyungwon subconsciously leans closer in anticipation. “you’ve been what?”

but minhyuk just tilts his head, smiling that minhyuk smile that hyungwon always cherishes. but there is a look in the dark-haired boy’s eyes that hyungwon has seen before. a look from a time when minhyuk just started to date kihyun. and hope, _the fucking bitch,_ tries to overcome hyungwon yet again.

“that’s not fair, minhyuk. what were you gonna say?”

minhyuk stands up and stretches his arms over his head. “nothing of importance, wonnie.”

hyungwon looks up with a slight glare, standing up as well before wrapping his hand around the other’s wrist. “i know you, minhyuk. a talk about your soulmate isn’t “nothing of importance”. come on, what is it?”

“wonnie, can i see your tattoo?” minhyuk suddenly asks, a smile with a hint of sadness is placed on his lips.

hyungwon gets visibly startled, letting go of minhyuk and takes a good step backwards, not expecting for the attention to unexpectedly shift to him. as much as its his birthday, he didn’t think it would be possible for him to face this situation this fast. hell, if hyungwon wasn’t able to see minhyuk’s tattoo from the day he got it until now, then he believed that he wouldn’t be asked straight up about his.

“i mean, you can, but—"

“hyungwon, please. i’m just dying to know.” this time, minhyuk grabs hyungwon’s wrist, and with the use of his full name, the atmosphere tenses up.

with the plead in minhyuk’s eyes, hyungwon forgoes his initial plan of keeping minhyuk away for the sake of his feelings and surrenders to his demand. _love really does make you do stupid shit._

hyungwon turns his back to minhyuk, hands slowly coming up to the first button of his light blue polo shirt. with trembling fingers and an unsteady breath, he works on the buttons one by one, exhaling a nerve-wracking breath when he flicks the last one open.

he moves his right shoulder first, rolling it back before doing the exact same thing with his left. the soft fabric of his shirt easily slides down until it stops at the middle of his back. hyungwon then curls up his arms at waist level, gathering as much of the scrunched-up material before letting it fall completely from his body.

the first thing he feels is the cool air of the room hitting his newly-marked skin. it sends goosebumps along his flesh, which doubles in number when he feels a warm breath over it. he feels it just for a split second before it was replaced with a fingertip.

hyungwon feels his anxieties flow throughout his body with the way minhyuk was moving his fingertip. he feels the pressure of minhyuk’s nail going over his new tattoo, tracing it with the most utmost precision. now hyungwon is more conscious of the fact that he’s not breathing properly—at the point of not breathing at all, actually.

right when hyungwon’s anticipation is at its peak, the fingertip leaves his tattoo. then, he suddenly hears some sort of rushed movements behind him before catches the distinct sounds of clothes dropping on his wooden floor. hyungwon turns around with his head down low, still terribly nervous because technically he just _stripped in front of the man he loves._

however, the first thing that snatches his attention is minhyuk’sjacket and pink sweater pooling next to his polo shirt. his eyes widen at the sight and then realizes too late that he is already lifting his head faster than he should.

needless to say, he is greeted by the body of a complete adonis.

hyungwon takes the sight in as much as he can (hey, if minhyuk could stare at his back, then hyungwon can stare at his front). his eyes appreciate minhyuk’s body quickly but effectively; he notices how the other’s shoulders are wider and broader than what his clothes show them to be, how his arms were slim but well-toned, and how his torso is lean and sinewy, accentuating the smooth cuts of minhyuk’s abdominal muscles. _a six pack, how did he get more beautiful than the last time i saw him?_

but what makes hyungwon stop all his efforts of appreciation is what he sees on minhyuk’s chest. specifically, on the part where minhyuk’s heart lies underneath.

on the mentioned patch of skin shows a modest tattoo. a sketch of two paper airplanes, one flying higher than the other, the second one following closely with a path of broken lines behind it. the trail gradually forms into a small heart by the end—

it’s his tattoo. it’s hyungwon’s tattoo. down to the minute details of the seven broken lines.

hyungwon raises his eyes to meet minhyuk’s, and the moment they do he feels his own eyes watering. everything seems to surreal right now, it feels too much like the ideal world hyungwon believed he would never experience. but minhyuk, whose eyes are glistening with unshed tears as well, takes a step forward and rests his forehead on hyungwon’s while his hands are delicately placed on his hips, helping hyungwon confirm that this is _real._

“i’m so—" hyungwon chokes out, emitting a chuckle out of shock, “i can’t believe—i thought i didn’t have—”

“a chance?” minhyuk answers, showing a teary smile of his own. “god, you have no idea how much i wanted it to be you.”

 _pure happiness._ it courses through hyungwon’s veins when he hears those words from minhyuk. “i thought you went big for your tattoo. the loud colors, the abstract shapes, and all that.”

minhyuk lifts a hand to hyungwon’s cheek, and the younger doesn’t hesitate to lean into it. “i wanted to give myself the sliver of hope that you were going to be my soulmate. it’s why i didn’t show you mine in the first place, why i waited for you to get yours to see if fate will be kind to us. if i saw a different tattoo on you tonight, then at least i would still have you with me through this mark, made and conceptualized with only the thought of you as inspiration.”

hyungwon raises his own hand and rests it on minhyuk’s tattoo, the heat of the other’s skin sends him to another wave of elation because _it’s really there. it’s really him._ and when hyungwon drops his first tear from pure relief, the flurry of emotions finally getting the best of him, minhyuk pulls him and wraps him in a protective blanket of a tight embrace.

while hyungwon is the taller of the two (he takes pride of their two centimeter-difference), he has never felt this small for a long time. he finds the sweetest solace on the junction between minhyuk’s neck and shoulder, happy tears steadily streaming out on minhyuk’s skin.

he feels the familiar breath hitting his ear. soft, soothing and a little amused. “wonnie, you’re gonna make me cry.”

hyungwon lets out watery laugh against minhyuk, arms encircling around the other’s waist. “please do, don’t let me be the only emotional sap here.”

“already there, baby.” he distances himself a bit to give hyungwon proof of his tears.

but hyungwon doesn’t spare a glance, for the second he feels minhyuk move away from him, he does the one thing he has always wanted to do since he was fifteen: he captures minhyuk’s lips in an enticing kiss.

hyungwon swallows the astonished gasp minhyuk huffs out, angling his head to kiss the boy deeper in a passionate lip lock. he worships every inch of the older boy’s mouth, swiping his tongue teasingly over and over again on his thin lips. the heat between them is obvious, but hyungwon still pours all the sickeningly sweet feelings he has been harboring for seven years into the kiss.

he keeps the moment romantic, and it turns perfect as minhyuk wraps his around hyungwon’s neck, fingers dancing and swirling over the tattoo on hyungwon’s skin.

minhyuk is the first to pull away after hyungwon steals a few (read as: seven) more pecks, and sends a smile so loving that hyungwon feels it in his core.

“guess what?” the older whispers, tucking a lock of hyungwon’s burgundy tresses behind his ear.

all hyungwon does is the sweetest, littlest things: nods, grins, flushes minhyuk’s naked upper body against his, one hand cups the older’s neck while the other leisurely threads through minhyuk’s locks, and falls in love a whole lot more.

“we’re soulmates, wonnie, soulmates.”

the words sound more incredible, more wonderful than any other time hyungwon has dreamed of them; even now it feels like it hasn’t fully sink in, and he’s positive that he’s never going to come down from his high.

“soulmates.” hyungwon repeats, grinning at the sheer joy and adoration he finds in minhyuk’s eyes.

hyungwon wants to revel in this moment for as long as he can, their relationship almost a decade in the making finally coming to life. hyungwon leads minhyuk to his bed, falling back on the mattress and pulling his soulmate— _oh my god_ _i can’t stop thinking about it_ —in his arms, fitting perfectly in his hold. he locks his arms tight around minhyuk, and minhyuk cradles the younger’s tear-stained, puffy cheeks in his hands. with their legs entangling together, hyungwon breathes in all of minhyuk.

the younger showers the other’s beautiful face with tender pecks, cherishing the arc of his eyebrow, the crinkle by his eye smile, the highest point of his cheek, the curve of his nose, the corner of his lips, the faintest scar above his jawline. hyungwon then simply stops and gazes at the older boy before minhyuk does the exact ministrations, highlighting his favorite features on hyungwon’s visage.

the night continues like this, hyungwon fighting and ultimately failing to hide the creeping blush on his cheeks but nonetheless swims in minhyuk’s endless, silent praises. his eyes close shut and his heart flutters in his chest when minhyuk initiates another kiss with more admiration and desire than their first. it sets something ablaze in hyungwon and it allows him to soar higher than before.

hyungwon nips at minhyuk’s bottom lip and garners a much favorable response from the older, moaning in want as the sheets crumpled underneath their eager bodies. hyungwon finds himself laying flat against his mattress but arches his back to get another feel of minhyuk’s warm skin.

in the heat of the moment, hyungwon barely notices how minhyuk was able to unlatch his long arms around his waist before pulling hyungwon’s hands to rest on either side of his head. hyungwon holds and clings on tight, feeling minhyuk’s fingers weave through his before the other pulls back.

hyungwon is seeing stars after minhyuk’s passionate attack, but none shined brighter and looked more stunning than minhyuk’s eves that were full of this thirst and longing, his hair attractively disheveled, and his glistening, reddish lips. it was ridiculously but excitingly clear that minhyuk had wanted hyungwon as much as he did.

but the moment finishes as minhyuk starts another one, attaching his lips under the sharp cut of hyungwon’s jawline, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses on the length of the younger’s neck.

quiet mewls spills from hyungwon’s swollen lips when minhyuk stops at a particularly weak spot above his collarbone; he suddenly whimpers out the older’s name when he tantalizingly bit, sucked, and licked the small patch of skin.

with the sound of a satisfying pop, hyungwon lets out a breathless laugh. “minhyuk, i just got my tattoo and you’re here giving me another mark?”

“wasn’t able to see you nor spend a lot of time with you on your birthday. i gotta make it up to you by giving a present, baby.”

the night is getting more perfect by the minute, so hyungwon thinks he can be a little more honest than usual. “what more can i want when i finally get to call you my soulmate?”

the reply sends minhyuk smiling, eyes shifting to a softer, more delicate tone. hyungwon savors the pureness of the look before he reaches up to kiss minhyuk again. and again, and again, and again.

hyungwon faintly remembers his mother’s words to his four-year-old self, and slightly disagrees with them. he’s convinced that he already felt more than complete ever since he was ten-years-old, when their _soulmate tattoo_ hits him in the eye by his _soulmate_.

**Author's Note:**

> wow this one was a /long/ one HAHAHA. but i already love you and appreciate you if you were able to read and finish the whoooooole fic hihihi.
> 
> edit: i got the soulmate tattoo inspiration from this [ picture.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/34/09/f4/3409f4d4ab1d2a67ae66e1a628e96c2f--paper-airplanes-doodle-airplane-paper.jpg) i just modified it a bit to make it extra cheesy lol.
> 
> kudos, comments, and constructive criticisms are welcomed and appreciated! you may also reach me via twitter: @kihyukssi. thank you!


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